Self Improvement Tips & Resources

I have low self esteem & i’m very insecure and I always feel inferior to others and always think people bother with me as they have no one else to bother with, or that I somehow have given the wrong idea that i’m nicer than I am.
I know it sounds silly.
I got a facebook profile (know its enough to give anyone a complex) and its made me think.
I always wonder what people think of me, and I always think people think I am wierd, stupid, or boring.
No one has said that but thats what I think they feel.
My confidence is low and I am scared of Rejection.
I don’t have many on my friends list and Im not going to add people as a friend incase they reject me.
I am sort of shy, but friendly.
I think because I was a bit shy at school, so not many friends, and I got picked on quite a bit, and I am a middle child (looked into middle child characteristics), these things have stayed in my mind.
I am 24
I would not tell anyone i know about my issues as they would think I was fishing for compliments
And also I think of things I said and did in the past and it makes me cringe. The things I did at school and as a teenager.
Are you embarrassed of things you did as a teenager??
Things that people are likely to remember?
Would you judge someone by what they did at school or 5+ years ago???

There is a chance I come over a bit wierd now (thats the insecurity rearing its head again) but it is nerves and I just want to be liked.
I make a point of not being clingy and needy to my few friends i have as I think it might put them off

You poor thing, I really feel for you. All of us have these feelings sometimes, so your absolutely normal, the problem here is that you have allowed these thoughts to overwhelm you. You have allowed them to become "fact" which they are not. The most important thing is that you work on your self esteem, this is both the easiest and the hardest thing to do. Easy because the technique is quite simple and hard because it takes a lot of effort on your part. Put simply every time you have a negative thought replace it with a positive one. When your head tells you you are useless tell it back that you are not and think of something you have done well.When your head asks why should people bother with you tell it that its because your a nice person to know. Most of us want to be liked and fear rejection but we can’t be liked by everyone. just be yourself and others will like you for who you are, learn to like and love yourself, you are a unique and special individual just as we all are. You do not have to prove your worth to anyone other than yourself. Making friends is difficult when you are shy, when you do get chatting to someone try asking them some questions and their replies will help you keep a conversation going, by showing an interest in others they show an interest in you. If you feel that these issues are really affecting your life I would discuss it with my G.P. he/she can recommend courses that will help. Please be kind to yourself because you are worth it. Good luck x

I have terrible sleep paralysis and im a naturalist so what are some herbal or natural remedies?
Thanks

If you are looking for ways of dealing with your sleep paralysis then you will find this article very relevant. Go through it as it looks at the causes and offers solutions.

Sleep paralysis does not harm the body in any way but it can leave you feeling very tired and weak after a sleepless night. If you are experiencing frequent episodes then you might want to know if there is anything you can do to prevent sleep paralysis. You need to appreciate that this condition is a function of the mind and can be brought about by many things.

Some places that offer extensive, detailed information and remedies include any one of the following: how do you Stop Sleep Paralysis, Stop Sleep Paralysis, remedies to sleep paralysis

If you want to know how to prevent it then you must know how it is caused and what triggers. In all the cases anything that will disrupt your normal sleep cycle will trigger sleep paralysis. People who are under a lot of stress and tension are also likely to experience sleep paralysis.

Try to be in a relaxed mood when you go to sleep. You could try and channel out your stress and frustrations through exercise. The idea is to go to sleep with a stress free mind. There are also stimulants like caffeine, alcohol and tobacco that are capable of disrupting your sleep. If you want to prevent sleep paralysis then avoid taking these substances at night or before you sleep.

There are two things that will kick the brain out of sleep, light and sound. It is advisable to sleep in a dark room with all the appliances off. Keeping the radio and TV on while you sleep does little to improve the situation. Mantaining a regular sleeping schedule is also recommended.This will make sure the body gets used to waking up and sleeping at certain times only.

There are many ways in which you can prevent sleep paralysis. The techniques that I’ve talked about here are just some of the things that you can do. You can also get to know how other peoplel have dealt with the condition.

Hi
To cut a long story short, I’ve been on and off self harming since I was 12, I’m now 19. I don’t want to be doing this at all but if something bad happens, it triggers it and I feel I can’t get over it without hurting myself physically. It started when I had a traumatic experience when I was 12 and I found myself doing it. It started with keys to my arm, then to my wrist, then through to when I was 13 I was sleeping with a kitchen udner my pillow as I needed a way to get to sleep and something to get me throug hthe nexy day! Then things became better, I stopped, started again after another bad experience whe nI was 15, then stopped..now started again at 19! I know it wont go away until I get professional help..so that’s what I want to do.

Does anybody know how I can get help? Is it confidential? Will I need time off work?
My partner and I want to try for a baby next summertime, so I’d loev if I can be ‘better’ or at least on my way to getting better by then Sound state of mind and all that

Thanks
x

You should consult with a psychologist who practices in cognitive behavioural therapy - this will give you tools to turn to instead of cutting in times of stress. It will be confidential & done in normal appointments with the psychologist. The only times it will not be confidential is when your psychologist deems you to be a major risk to yourself (not necessarily from a bit of cutting bit when it is out of hand & it is felt you may harm yourself more). You won’t need to take time off work as such other than for about an hour a week or so for a psychologist appointment if you can’t find one that has hours that suit you.

I’m going to the doctor and i have major scars and cuts right now. I know he’ll ask about them and i don’t want my parents to know. I also know he won’t keep it a secret. Please i’m 13 and I need answers.

You should go. trust me, it’s better someone knows and you get help you need.
If you want to talk about anything, you can always PM me or whatever. I know a lot on this stuff.
You can also ask ur parents to give you some time with ur dr as well

I have a low self esteem. Even when i succeed in something i still do not feel happy about myself. This occurs to me a lot especially in the case of dating (for me it’s the best thing in life to love somebody). Example: I say to myself "who wants to date me i’m not cute", "girls probably think i’m gay" and many other low self esteem things. Can anybody help?

Start by making a list of all of the things you like about yourself, and taping it up somewhere that you will see it everyday. Then, anytime you think something negative about yourself, replace it with one of the things you have written down. Over time, it will become like a second nature to compliment yourself when feeling down.

Find something that you are really good at, and that you feel good about yourself while doing it, then plan events or hanging out around that one thing. For example, say you are really good about bowling and when you bowl you feel awesome about yourself. Invite some people that make you feel GOOD about yourself, to go bowling with you. It is much easier to be confident and more social when you are doing something that makes you feel good about yourself.

Also, do something like get a haircut, get a manicure or pedicure, or get a new outfit! It’s amazing what a confidence boost you get from any of these things. I actually have a website where I create outfits for people to help boost their self esteem! My website is http://danicaliforniaoutfits.com and I will create you some outfits! My motto is Real Style, Real You. I also have a blog about self esteem, confidence, fitness, and health! It’s http://IAmFree2BeMe.blogspot.com

Remember that you are beautiful inside and out no matter what people might tell you or what you think of yourself. Hold your head held high and think about all of the things YOU love about yourself. Stand your ground and stay true to yourself and what you believe in. Surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself and confident. Don’t waste your time on those who make you feel bad!

"Always wear an invisible crown on your head" - Author Unknown

My son is 8 yrs. old..ihave joint custody..my boys mothr became obese an dknow he is,..courts do not care,,,he has become self abusive as she coehearses him into lying about me and trying to put me in prison but also low self esteem calling him stupid idio,brainless..etc..protective services wont help……Help before he kills his self as he has told many that he wanted to kill himself..thanks Dane

eight may be a little young, but does he know what she is trying to do to you?
can you talk to him and get him to realize that he needs to tell the truth, and that its wrong for ANYONE to call him names? if not, does he have another family member or a friend or even a teacher -anyone- that he trusts who could do this for you?
if he wrote down how he feels and what is really going on in his life, then would anyone listen -since its documented? or if he kept track of what she did to him and when (to prove how often).
is it specifically his mother that makes him want to take his life? and does the court know this? if they still dont care, can you get a change of venue?
any decent court should want the kids to be safe.
is your lawyer doing his/her job? (i knew one once who did basically nothing in this one particular case -he was later taken care of, though).
could you get him to like something that you two can do together so he will look forward to that and not want to kill himself because if he does, he wont get to do that special thing anymore?

is there any self help books for anxiety? please suggest some books which i can buy in india?

Hey, self-help books are very useful. They are convenient when the Internet is not available and reading is relaxing. Good job on reaching out. you can find many great resources including books on this website- www.projectpanic.com. You can utilize the website as well as find great books and other things there. Don’t listen to the negative responses. Also, stay clear of people promoting weight loss based websites. They are only trying to rip you off! A Good luck. You are on the right track.

Best regards.

My girlfriend is so amazing, and I just want to help her see that, so I want to make a CD for her with a bunch of songs that can let her know that she is perfect exactly the way she is. I’ve found one, "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera, so you know what kind of songs I’m looking for. Thanks for the help!
Awwww!! That’s soooooo cute!!! I have a couple of songs in mind for ya. They are more romantic but whatever:

With me- Sum41
Fall for you-Secondhand Serenade
Two is better than one- Boys Like Girls
Like We Used to- A Rocket to the Moon
Collide-Howie Day
You and Me-Lifehouse
I’ll be- Edwin Mccain
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol
into your arms-the maine
I’ve got you- Mcfly
Yellow- Coldplay
Your body is a wonderland- John Mayer
Better Together-Jack Johnson <3
No air- Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown
Beautiful Soul- Jesse Mccartney

Hope I helped and good luck:)

can anyone help me, i cant do anything in my life, whenever i start something i just cant finish it
i don’t know why i even dropped out of school but i really like to go back and finish but i never ever start something and finish it..i get scared in a weird way
can anyone help me b4 its too late for me to do anything at all :’(

The first thing you have to do is stop. Stop thinking that about yourself. You’ve just got to push yourself to really try, and REALLY be commited. I know it’ll be hard, I know it’ll be scary, and it might be painful to face all this. But pain never lasts forever. It might last a minute, it might last a year, but it never lasts forever. And remind yourself that.
Going back to school would be a great start. Go back, and finish. You CAN do it and be successful if you try. If not, you run the risk of facing horrible situations in your life.
And never feel alone, or that no one cares. There will always be SOMEONE to help you. If no one else, there’s God. And hey, if no one cared about you, I wouldn’t have answered this question. Even a perfect stranger cares.
Don’t give up on yourself or the world, never lose hope, because nothing is impossible if you try.

Not the cheesy/unrealistic situations. I’m looking through amazon, but I haven’t found any books that meet my standards. Help?
My friend bought me three of the Chicken soup books in 5th grade. I have two teen ones and a kid one - they’re pretty terrible. I mean, she loved them, but for me they were just too fake.

I like it when you say you don’t like these Chicken soup books.

If you want to achieve something with your life, it’s better to forget about your age and go for the real stuff. That’s my view. Sooner or later, you’re going to need them. Why not get a head start over your peers, if you mean business.

To become health, wealthy and wise, you need to take care of the four aspects of life: Health, Wealth, Relationships, and Contribution to society.

So, I’m going to forget your age and recommend a few appropriate books from my 2,000 personal library, and you take your pick from them, OK?

Reader’s Digest, The Complete Manual of Fitness and Well-being, a lifetime guide to self-improvement. workouts for men and women, eating for health, self-scoring fitness quizzes, dealing with stress, looking your best, sexuality, feeling good, staying young, treatments and therapies.

Now, Discover Your Strengths, the revolutionary program that shows you how to develop your unique talents and strengths - and those of the people you manage, by Marcus Buckingham & Donald Clifton

The Magic of Dialogue, transforming conflict into cooperation, by Daniel Yankelovitch, based on the open minded attitude that everyone brings a piece of the solution to problems.

Rich Dad Poor Dad, what the rich teach their kids about money - that the poor and middle class do not, by Robert Kiyosaki, choosing idea-intensive and capital intensive activities over labor-intensive activities.

Make Real Money On The Internet, by Stephen Pierce

Dream Crafting, the art of dreaming big, the science of making it happen, by Paul Levesque and Art McNeil, five skills for achieving any goal

The Power of Full Engagement, managing Energy, not time, is the key to high performance and personal renewal, by Jim Loehr & Tony Schwartz, achieving corporate success.

The Road Less Traveled, a new psychology of love, traditional values and spiritual growth, by Scott Peck, how to build up character and courage through facing our emotional problems squarely

The 7 habits of Highly Effective People, bringing back character ethics, by Stephen Covey, be proactive, begin with the end in mind, put first things first, think win/win, seek first to understand…then to be understood, synergize, sharpen the saw.

People Skills, how to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts, by Robert Bolton,

Make The Right Decision Every Time, how to make the right business and personal decisions confidently, by Roger Dawson